Living with pedophilia usually comes with significant losses; no surprise there. But unlike most other situations of loss, it can be very difficult to communicate to anyone what we’ve lost, or why we need to grieve. I mean, just imagine getting together with your friends at church or the bar and saying “I’m very sad because of being a pedophile. … Read more

Christmas can be a very difficult time for many of us. There are a lot of changes. Presents to buy and wrap, parties to attend (usually with alcohol), time off work, and then there’s the post-Christmas weight gain. Ugh! Amidst periods of business, there can be long spells of boredom where we can find our minds wandering as we reflect … Read more

When it comes to mental illness, Christians generally haven’t done very well. Quite often there’s a lot of religious advice giving. You feel depressed? You just need to rejoice! You have anxiety? You just need to have faith. OCD? Let go and let God. Bipolar? Rebuke that devil in Jesus’ name! To make things worse, well-meaning and respectable Christians, can … Read more

Well, it’s that time of year again, the time when Christian YouTubers and bloggers put out material on whether or not it’s okay for Christians to celebrate Halloween. For once I thought I’d join them and share some of my thoughts on the subject. So… is it okay for Christians to celebrate Halloween? Many would say ‘no’ and default to … Read more

For those of you who don’t already know, there’s a new theology in town. Side B: a comfortable, easy, and embarrassment-free way to reconcile our modern understanding of sexuality and the Bible. No more awkward conversations at parties. No more suffering reproach for the name of Christ. No more looking like the stuffy old evangelical with outdated beliefs. Now you … Read more

I have a confession to make. I like boys with braces. This may seem strange to most people. Why on earth would anyone be into boys with braces? But even stranger perhaps is why I choose to focus in on this detail and take it seriously. You see, for the longest time, I didn’t. I didn’t even like thinking about … Read more

I’m not Orthodox, but there is one aspect of the Orthodox tradition that I have lately come to appreciate. St Christopher – the dog headed saint. For those of you who are unfamiliar with St Christopher, or who have traditionally seen him depicted as a man like any other saint, may at first find it very odd to see him … Read more

If you are in urgent need of help, click here and call the hotline corresponding to your country. So, you’ve just realized that you’re a pedophile, and that no matter what you do, you can’t make it go away. What do you do now? Do you kill yourself? Or do you risk life as a pedophile? Sadly this is a … Read more

A while ago I wrote an article titled ‘Am I Demon Possessed?’ where I argued quite strongly (with verses) that it’s not at all possible for a Christian to be taken over and controlled by a demon (kind of like how you see in the movies). Now this is true, a person bought by the blood of Christ cannot be … Read more

Here in Isaiah 41:14, we see God bringing encouragement to his people: “Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the Lord, and thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.” I’ve recently been encouraged by this text. Being a pedophile is almost exactly like being a worm. Worms live below the surface of … Read more

It has been a sad thing, watching American culture slowly unravel. Many people have called this a polarization spiral – something married couples do when things aren’t working out. She pursues him with criticism, and in response, he moves away and shuts down causing her to pursue him with further criticism. However I don’t believe this to be an apt … Read more

For the longest time I had been feeling this way. Whenever I read the Bible, nothing seemed to stand out to me. Whenever I’d spend time in prayer, my mind would wander off and my prayers would turn out dull and lifeless. Everything in my spiritual life was becoming a drag. Somehow, slowly over time, it had lost its joy, … Read more

  Father God,   Tired and worn down I find myself in the midst of temptation; a baron wasteland of dust and ash with my adversary standing before me ten feet tall.   I confess that until now I have fought in my own strength Without calling for divine assistance Without putting on properly the full armour of God Without … Read more

I remember the first time I found the website Christian Pedophile. I was on a lunch break at work, and simply Googled the words “christian pedophile.” I needed answers, and I needed help. I had not been doing very well lately; I was struggling with a porn addiction that seemed to come and go but was never gone for long. … Read more

It’s been a long time now since Christmas. And whilst COVID still stays with us, it’s unfortunate that the wonder of celebrating the birth of our Savior fades into the background, if it was ever in the foreground at all. For many Christians, the idea of incarnation has become so reduced it’s no wonder it so constantly gets categorized as … Read more

Have you ever realized that Google isn’t as good as it used to be? There was once a time where you could type in something very specific, and the search engine would hunt out that exact thing that you were looking for and present you a list of relevant findings. Nowadays, if you type something specific into Google, you’re more … Read more

In the days of church growth and inclusivity, it can be difficult to find a church that simply preaches the Word of God faithfully, since in order to be inclusive and inviting to all, it is necessary for core convictions to take a back seat, or be thrown out of the vehicle altogether. Truth is, and always will be exclusive. … Read more

Back around 2012 and 2013 I was incredibly unstable – that is when I was able to feel anything at all. Most of the time I was depressed, but when I wasn’t, I was either so euphoric I would do crazy things like riding my bike down two flights of concrete stairs, only to fall off half way down and … Read more

Forgive me for stating the obvious, but public trust is low. Very low. With every breaking story we seem to uncover a new cancerous mass of corruption in the system. Recently we were given a special insight into wall street corruption through the GameStop/Robinhood scandal. No matter where we look, everything seems to be rigged – and not in our … Read more

When we follow Jesus our shepherd, the path isn’t always comfortable. As he leads us from hilltop to hilltop, we often pass through valleys of tribulation. Here it seems, the environment is oppressive. The air is heavy, and the fire that once burned in our hearts for Christ our savior is reduced down to a few smouldering embers. Oftentimes, we … Read more

It’s now been around 17 months since I started my therapy. Things towards this end certainly seem to be a lot easier than when I first started off. I certainly feel a lot more grounded and confident. It’s been such an interesting journey of identity and healing, sometimes painful, but I’m glad God has given me the ability to stick … Read more

In the late 1520’s Martin Luther composed that famous hymn; ‘A Mighty Fortress is our God’, or in the original German; ‘Ein Feste Burg ist Unser Gott’. There is something about the original German I just love. It makes it sound even stronger somehow. I cannot say what reference inspired him to compose such a powerful hymn. Perhaps it was … Read more

Wise And finally, what do we mean when we say that God is wise? There is quite a difference between God’s wisdom and ours. We gather knowledge through various means, and then apply that knowledge to the created order through things like calculation, deduction, visualization, categorization and so on, in order to bring about a desired outcome, whether it be … Read more

Creative And what does it mean that God is creative? Quite often God’s creativity is pushed to the side. We know God is creative because he’s the creator. Of what? Of the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1). To most Christians, it’s not all that mind-blowing. God made the natural world – the rocks and trees, all the animals, and … Read more

A number of years ago, I was really into an anime called Tokyo Ghoul. It was one of those things that just spoke so deeply to what I was going through; the internal battles, the secrecy, the shame and anguish… All these powerful themes come out so strongly. The show is almost a perfect metaphor for someone struggling with pedophilia. … Read more

Justice What about justice? We hear the word justice being thrown around a lot. Everyone’s trying to get justice but when was the last time anyone anywhere ever said anything about God’s justice? People certainly love to pin God’s name on their version of justice, whether it be the social justice of today or the “Gott mit uns” justice of … Read more

Holiness What about holiness? How often do you hear it said in bible study when the leader asks: ‘What is holiness?’ someone always puts their hand up and says ‘Oh I know, I know. It means to be set apart.’ But what never seems to get explained is just how set apart God really is – how alien and uncanny … Read more