It’s now been around 17 months since I started my therapy. Things towards this end certainly seem to be a lot easier than when I first started off. I certainly feel a lot more grounded and confident. It’s been such an interesting journey of identity and healing, sometimes painful, but I’m glad God has given me the ability to stick with it. As time has gone by, I’ve felt not only less sexually attracted to boys, but less sexually attracted in general. It’s as if my sexuality is shrinking, and my real life is growing. My whole concept of self has been shifting and changing. With this change there have also been a fair share of tough questions. At what point do I cease to be a pedophile and start being a regular Christian guy? Is there such a clear threshold at all or is it more complex? I’m not sure. But I do think that now is a good time to shake off the old label and stop calling myself a pedophile. Because deep down, that’s not who I really am. I wouldn’t even call myself an ‘ex-pedophile’, or even ‘ex-gay’. I’m just me. And there is a whole lot more to me than my sexuality.
In regards to the ministry, I still want to keep on writing content and doing podcasts. It’s something I enjoy, and I seem to be pretty good with words. And to be honest, even though I’ve never met any of you, and I don’t know what you look like, I love you. And I’m always looking forward to when I finally get to meet you all in person, and when we all get to meet each other. Maybe this will happen in this life, or maybe in the life to come. Either way, I’m sure we’ll have a lot to talk about. I always find myself praying for you. It’s such a difficult journey to go through. The road is full of stones and we don’t have any shoes. We fight a war on three fronts. On the one front we fight temptation, on other, we fight self-hatred, on the third front, we fight exposure, keeping our hurts locked away so we won’t have to face the unbearable shame of rejection from our communities. It’s only by God’s grace that anyone could withstand all this cross-pressure. Yet despite these impossible conditions, God is building his church and it’s been exciting to see this new wing in God’s church take shape. Recently, we’ve had someone contact us asking if he can translate the whole website into his native language of Portuguese! Just think of how many more people we could reach with the saving hope of the gospel! Jesus was right when he told us the fields were ripe for harvest (John 4:35), and we know that he came into the world, not to call the righteous but sinners, (Matthew 9:13) which means there are plenty of people out there who are just waiting to hear the call of Jesus, and the message of salvation. As Michel and I, continue in this work, and as Pedro begins to translate the website, please keep us all in your prayers, that God would shield us and protect us, and that we would work wholeheartedly at this task God has given us.