A Letter From a Survivor

This letter was originally posted in our Discussion area.
Thank you K.

K –

I am a survivor of child molestation.

I cannot explain how angry I am that children are exposed to sexual abuse, at the fact that there are children in pornography and prostitution – that there is even a market for it.

At the back of my head, I understand that pedophiles are only human and that everyone has different struggles. But I couldn’t help seeing you as demons who deserve to burn in hell.

Just now, I was listening to a preaching. The pastor said that when Jesus comes back, He will set the world right, that there will no longer be children who will be subjected to any kind of abuse. That He will take vengeance on those who made his people suffer. I cried and prayed to for Jesus to please come soon.

After that, I felt that I was being led to look up christianity and pedophilia and saw your site. I think deep in my heart, I am hoping that people like you would realize the impact of acting on your tendencies and the consequences on the lives of children and their future.

I am now 27 years old. It took me 19 years to finally come to terms with what happened to me. I still have minor OCD but I can finally say with conviction that I have forgiven my abuser and the people who stood by and let it happen. I now teach children in sunday school and try my best to be an adult who empowers kids, especially because the culture where I am from is one that puts heavy emphasis on respect and unquestioning obedience to adults to the point of repression and neglect.

I want you to know that reading your posts has greatly encouraged me and has also helped me to understand what was done to me. I’ve been angry most of my life and it is a huge relief to me that there are people like you who are pedophiles who are trying to do the right thing. I thank God for healing my heart and my mind and I pray for those of you who are trying to do the right thing to be strengthened by His Spirit in your inner being (Eph 3:16) to resist and run from temptation, and to ultimately receive your freedom from this bondage.

I want you to know that I as a survivor, understand. And I want you to know that I agree with you. That you are indeed unsung heroes for choosing to fight. I believe that there is no harder battle than the one that is fought in our own minds.

For those of you who decided to never act on your tendencies, and for those of you who made a quality decision to stop, I thank you on behalf of other survivors and the children you have protected by making that quality decision.

I hope pray you would receive a revelation of the love and grace of Christ, and that that revelation would empower you to truly love children the way that God loves us as His children.

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